Tales From The Dark Continent Part 1: Smothering Silk

Preface

     In October of 2005, at the height of his mid-life crisis, I was commissioned by a self absorbed, narcissistic baby-man to photograph a big game hunt in South Africa. The actual photographs were truly disgusting and the trip went poorly. I will not post those photos to this blog and, for once, will let my words do the talking. These are my stories. 

Smothering Silk

I was commissioned to photograph an ego maniac’s big game hunt in South Africa. It seemed like a bad idea, but it also seemed like a free trip to Africa.

What kind of idiot fool would say no to a free trip to Africa?! 

On the other hand, what kind of idiot fool would say yes?                                                                                                                                                           
It took 27 hours to reach our destination on the dark continent and, even though our crew rolled in at 4:00 in the morning, we were greeted at the lodge by a cheerful welcome committee. They presented us with snacks and tall glasses of a fruity potion that tasted like air freshener. I sipped at my Glade Tropical Breeze and thought of motel rooms with pineapple bed spreads and torn curtains.

Other workers gathered our luggage and toted it to our cabins. “Be careful walking on the lighted paths at night”, they warned us, “The light attracts insects and the insects attract frogs and the frogs attract Black Mambas, so watch where you put your feet.”

There were some other things our hosts failed to mention, like what to do about the palm sized spider poised directly over the bed. It was working a crossword puzzle and knitting a sweater while waiting for the perfect moment to repel from the ceiling. Spiders have lots of eyes so they are good at multitasking. Arachnid motives, however, are difficult to discern.

This one wanted to turn my face into a cocoon, or maybe not.

“Cocoon” – a 6 letter word for Smothering Silk.
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Too tired to care, I fell asleep and was not bothered by the twinkle of round lemur eyes peering through the window.

Click here to read all of the Tales From The Dark Continent.